I Dream of Cooking

As of late, my appetite for anything food seemed to have disappeared. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing right now; however, my appetite for spirits seemed to have soared.

Since the New Year, my liver has met many a wine bottle, distilled spirits, and hard liquor and embraced them with open arms. Shelley (my liver) has indicated to me that I am making up for all those years in college when I was not a participating drunk Rutgers student. If I keep going the way I am going, I’m pretty sure Shelley will die. 

And when I say ‘spirits’, I am talking about anything under the sun with the exception of beer. I am not a great fan of beer mostly because nothing about it is elegant and there are very few beers that actually leave behind a clean, crisp taste (mostly foreign beer). Yeah, I am no beer connoisseur and I never will or want to be. 

I am not saying I haven’t had good food. I have had an evening where a friend of mine took me to a fancy Japanese place only to order fried chicken (it was delicious!), I also had ‘camel butter’ (oddly delicious), and I’ve had ‘liquid food’ (basically the premise is to blend a meal altogether and gulp it down like a shake—it was odd and quite frankly, I am not a fan. I like masticating). All of this was good and normally, I would be excited about blogging it all…but these past 2 months or so just did not hit that sweet spot. 

I am quite determined to not let crappy stuff in life ruin my enjoyment. I’m renewing my efforts and I will post again soon. 

I am cooking!

I used 4 ingredients!

I am using an oven!

I am using a timer!

I will utilize an oven mitt!

I am waiting in agony while my dinner cooks!

I am hoping my chicken does not burn!

I am hearing it cook and opening the oven door just to see…!

I am impatiently waiting on my timer!

I am going to feed this to my boyfriend first before I take a bite!

…and I will probably never do this again! =D

It seems like with every reality tv show, every modern movie, and basically every other person I meet has been sucked into believing that living in a world where every rule is broken is the “thing to do”. It’s considered fresh, whimsical, and even a desirable trait you’d want in a romantic partner; being involved or even being that stick-in-the-mud that follows all the rule is considered insipid, devoid of fun, and even an abomination to modern living…it’s almost like having the cooties. 

What happened?

What happened to dinner parties? Elegant brunches? And even table manners?! Where’s the decorum? Where’s the goddamn best china and silverware?! 

I feel like I’m living in a small piece of hell where people just don’t give a crap about “those things” anymore. Is it just the metro-NYC area? Do I have to haul my behind to some place unknown where elegance and style is just as important as breathing?!

I predict that I will fall victim to vacationing in Greece and dealing with people who don’t know how to conduct themselves or their children. I predict that every high-end restaurant I go to, there will be a horde of distasteful people who will ruin my appetite. Even if I am surrounded by people who have money, they don’t know how to use it or they’re crass enough to be gaudy. 

I don’t care how people conduct themselves or how they eat in their own homes or within their close-knit circle of friends. If you’re at a bar/grill/noisy restaurant, I don’t care. I do care when I am in a nice, public place and hearing a woman the next table over dropping F-bombs in a loud manner and calling her frenemy a ‘prostitute-whore’ (whatever the hell that means) while children are around. It’s distracting, it’s not amusing, and lastly…it’s just classless. Go take that activity to a chain restaurant, thank-you-very-much. 

And another thing, a going-out outfit does not mean I want to see everything; I’d take the boring-girl outfit over that over-exposed travesty. 

What does this have to do with food? I want to eat the best food; I want the best food experiences; and I want to not feel distaste while I’m doing it. If I am paying top dollar for something, I don’t want to waste that by being seated next to people or being put in the same area as people who don’t know how to act in public. 

This just translates to the following:

• According to most the counter-culture, hippy-dippies, ‘modern’ citizens of the world, I am an elitist. I don’t think I am but if that’s what it means for me to not screw my face up in distaste, then fine. 
• I need to not live in certain areas of New Jersey and New York
• That Master’s Degree is soooo happening if it translates to bumping my salary up by 15K
• Yeah, I am totally judging you if I’m giving you the stink-eye and not touching my food

Decorum should not be a negative trait. Table manners should be compulsory. And kids need to be smacked either physically or verbally if they’re acting like primadonnas 24/7 and refusing to eat their food. 

I never understood people telling me that they have lost their appetite over a delicious meal b/c of XYZ. 

I totally did the other day and I lament my actions and my lack of savoring the gorgeous meal. 

I know I live in my own version of reality…but when reality’s hot breath starts hitting you like a warehouse truck driven by a drunk teenager, it’s totally nasty.

And nasty really does take away your hunger.

I mourn for other reasons but I also mourn the missed opportunity of savoring that meal.